Correspondence

Dear Brodie Lane HEB:

Hello. I do my weekly marketing at your store, sometimes multiple times during a seven day period. I have yet to make it out of your doors after a trip for less than $150, many times more. But that is not what this letter is about, as you really do have the best prices in town, and I love so many things about your store: dedicated 'shopper with child' parking, carts holding up to 3 children, clean floors, fresh produce, the list goes on and on.

Back to those shopping carts. We were very excited over your recent purchase of the new carts with the bench seat holding two children. My sons deemed them 'more comfy' than the old, red plastic carts. I'm sure you are aware that anything that makes the trip more pleasant for them trickles down to me, the one with the wallet. I understand that those old red ones were recalled for some reason or other, but if you insist on taking them out of service you really should purchase more of the new ones. Or at least get some hourly worker with a screwdriver to fix the 6 broken ones that Ramon, your friendly parking lot attendant, reported were in the back of your store. Yes, I asked, and that's what he told me. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
Mama McAustin, who will check the parking lot next time, and move on to the NEW store if there aren't any appropriate carts available


To Brodie Lane HEB customer #1:

Good afternoon. I would like to compliment you on the restraint toward your sons that you exercised while grocery shopping this morning. I'm not sure I would have been quite as patient (read: oblivious) with your boys as you were in the store today. I noticed your two adorable sons as they were pushing and shoving each other to get onto the bench seat of the shopping cart in the parking lot. I imagine it's hard to shop while having to constantly chase after a 5 year old who is in pursuit of his 7 year old brother. I got tired just watching. I also got tired of telling my 3 year old that we couldn't use your cart, even though no one was riding on it. I was however, very happy you were able to secure a cart that provided a comfy place for them to rest once they were worn out from wreaking havoc in the aisles. Those new carts are really nice, aren't they? I hope the rest of your afternoon runs a bit more smoothly, and that those grape jelly stains from jar that your younger son broke come out of the seemingly-new white tennis shoes he was wearing. Have a great day!

Sincerely,
The mother of the 2 year old your older son knocked over


To Brodie Lane HEB customer #2:

Hi, do you remember me? I was the woman with the two toddlers and the infant whom you were walking behind in the parking lot. On the way into the store, at around 11 this morning? Hello, again.

I really appreciated it when you told your pre-teen son to "Hurry! Go get the last one!" and sent him running past us to snag that final cart built to hold multiple children. Yeah, I heard you. I realize that at 10 it's really taxing to walk through an entire store using your own steam. Also, I'm sure the infant you had with you just adored the straight back and hard seat on that cart. I just wanted to let you know that my shopping trip went well, and I was able to get almost all the groceries on my list despite having to spend more time in the store doing things other than getting groceries. My dog really needs to lose a few pounds anyway, and my sons thoroughly enjoyed helping me choose items and put them in the cart.

Another thing. Yes, I was laughing at your embarrassment when your son threw that complete and total screaming hissy fit tantrum when you wouldn't buy him those gummy worms in the checkout lane because he hadn't finished his flaming hot Cheetos. I'm fairly certain that was God getting you back for your inhospitable actions earlier in the day. And also? Maybe if he wore shoes, he wouldn't get the shards of glass from the broken jar of grape jelly in his feet.
Have a wonderful afternoon.

Cordially,
the HEB shopper who shopped the entire store directly in front of you