Doubt

All these new blogger babies put me deep into the nostalgia. I think about how I felt when I was doing those things with my kids.

Molly will be bringing home her new little angel soon. I remember just after the Critter was born the doctors wanted to send us home a day earlier than I'd planned on and I completely lost it. What the heck am I going to do with this tiny thing? I don't know what I'm doing! NO! I have to stay one more day! There were tears, there was wailing. And then I took a shower and felt better. The feeling of panic left as swiftly as it came.

MRTL hasn't been around much lately, and I hope things are going ok with the adjustment to having two kiddos. I am reminded of when I discovered that I was pregnant with Little Bit when the Critter was just 4 months old. I had serious doubts about how I would manage. My initial thought was that there would be no way to leave the house ever again. But then I realized that people do it all the time, and 8 months later when he arrived I was confident that I could do a good job. Despite some bumps here and there, it went well. Truth be told, my expectations were so low that I was pleasantly surprised that having two children just over a year apart wasn't as soul-crushingly excruciating as everyone assured me it would be.

Gerah is adjusting to life with her new baby boy. Her story reminded me of the time I lost my mind when Lulu was 7 weeks old, and the walls came crashing down, buried under a pile of dirty laundry and Christmas gifts that never got gifted.

Motherhood was something that I always felt very natural about, and I'm good at most of the motherly-type things: planning, comforting, organizing, cooking...etc. It's a role that I've always been comfortable with, even before having children. After my babies were born most things came relatively easily, and even when they were hard I knew it would get better: this, too, shall pass, and all that. Mostly, my hardest parenting events have been similar to the ones I mentioned earlier.

And then came potty training.

I put it off until the very last moment. Why? Because it scared me. I don't know why, maybe all the stuff you read about how you can irreparably damage your child's self-esteem and doom them to a future of bedwetting? Maybe. Whatever it was, I was daunted, and our beginning did nothing to help me out of my funk. The early phases of training did not go particularly well.

My biggest downfall as a human being is patience, or lack thereof to be specific. Throw messiness into that mix, and I'm not a very nice person. I know this, and did my best to counteract that: I sent up little prayers for added patience throughout the day, and counted to ten scores of times. I cognitively understand that all children figure it out eventually, but that was cold comfort as we were trailing a yellow river in a mad dash for the restroom at the grocery store that day. I seriously had doubts about whether I could see this thing through: I almost had myself convinced that he would indeed be the first freshman in the history of time wearing Goodnights in his dormroom. And all these people that told me about their kid who was completely trained in two weeks? They lie! Or they just can't count.

Once the Critter mastered the liquid version, then there was the sitting versus standing issue. (Pee like Daddy! Come on! It's fun!) Then there was the aim issue, which is still not perfect, but definitely improved. To be fair, I know grown men who don't hit the bullseye all the time. Then there was the "solid" issue, and his outright refusal to have anything to do with that involving a toilet. Then there was the cleaning issue when he decided that having poo in the Pull-up at naptime just would not do, and so he would take it off. And put it in a drawer. And then use four trillion wipes to try to clean up the mess. Yes, he's helpful like that. But then? Put them back.in.the.box. Um. Yeah. His bedroom still has a faint odor, but I'm certain I found them all...mostly.

That brings us to today.

I am happy to report that it's been a month now of total toileting here at Casa McAustin. Not a single accident , and he's dry upon waking 95% of the time.

I can now say with a great deal of certainty that he has conquered the toilet.

Thank God.