Growing.....

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

"Oh yeah? Well Kahlil Gibran can bite me."

This is how Catherine Newman began her weekly journal entry for this week.(If you want to read the entire entry, click here.) Catherine is the author of Waiting For Birdy, a great read if you haven't yet. I have been thinking a lot about this issue of growing children of late, as I watch each of my sons evolve into his own person more and more each day, and prepare for the arrival of our daughter.

It has always amazed me how much a strongly-complete person each of my babies was upon entering this world. You can look into their eyes immediately and see their unique personhood, see the gears of their minds turning, even though you know they can't see that well, and are just baffled by their new surroundings. When you lock eyes with a newborn and they drink you in deeply as if you were their very own personal shot of crack cocaine, you just know that there are thoughts spinning around in that little noggin that you have no concept of. Now that Critter is communicating with much more accuracy and coherence, and Little Bit is making his own fast trek down the vocabulary road, I continue to be amazed.....and a little sad and frightened. The world is literally their oyster, but I know each of my sons will face adversity, have his heart broken, get his ego bruised, and be physically battered, if only by his own doing. It's such a fine balance. To allow them space to grow as their own beings, yet still shelter them so they remain healthy and intact mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. My prayer everyday is that we do it with tenderness and love....but liberation, as well, so that they will grow into strong individuals with good hearts ....husbands, fathers, citizens.