Monday, August 08, 2005


Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

"Oh yeah? Well Kahlil Gibran can bite me."

This is how Catherine Newman began her weekly journal entry for this week.(If you want to read the entire entry, click here.) Catherine is the author of Waiting For Birdy, a great read if you haven't yet. I have been thinking a lot about this issue of growing children of late, as I watch each of my sons evolve into his own person more and more each day, and prepare for the arrival of our daughter.

It has always amazed me how much a strongly-complete person each of my babies was upon entering this world. You can look into their eyes immediately and see their unique personhood, see the gears of their minds turning, even though you know they can't see that well, and are just baffled by their new surroundings. When you lock eyes with a newborn and they drink you in deeply as if you were their very own personal shot of crack cocaine, you just know that there are thoughts spinning around in that little noggin that you have no concept of. Now that Critter is communicating with much more accuracy and coherence, and Little Bit is making his own fast trek down the vocabulary road, I continue to be amazed.....and a little sad and frightened. The world is literally their oyster, but I know each of my sons will face adversity, have his heart broken, get his ego bruised, and be physically battered, if only by his own doing. It's such a fine balance. To allow them space to grow as their own beings, yet still shelter them so they remain healthy and intact mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. My prayer everyday is that we do it with tenderness and love....but liberation, as well, so that they will grow into strong individuals with good hearts ....husbands, fathers, citizens.


Blogger Monkey said...

awesome, awesome pics...

too beautiful...


1:44 PM  
Anonymous Amy said...

I'm with you. I struggle all the time with engendering a fearless independence while trying to get them to "just get nudey and get in the shower!!!!!" Or something along those lines. It is a fine line and too overwhelming for me to contemplate too much.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Wethyb said...

Those pics are absolutely adorable!! So beautiful.

4:36 PM  
Blogger Mainline Mom said...

They are so cute! And they have your smile.

5:38 PM  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

lovely photos.
It goes by so quickly.
There are times that I look at my children and just wonder how it happened that they are so big and so grown up already. It seems like just a minute and a half ago I was holding them, nursing them, gazing at them.

Now they talk back to me and sass me all day long and don't cooperate and won't listen and fight with eachother non-stop.

Oh, the bliss of motherhood...

6:42 PM  
Anonymous Gerah said...

Yep, looks like we were both feeling mushy on our last posts...

7:44 PM  

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