Of Summertime and Abusive Haircuts......
It's hot, sticky, and EVERYONE's hair seems to grow at double the rate of any other time of the year. We McAustins are HAIRY people. These boys came down the chute with full heads of hair and it has been growing long and strong ever since. As a consequence of being hair prodigies, my sons must have haircuts about every 3 weeks. Now this might not sound like a big deal, BUT IT IS.....especially to them.
My sons HATE having their hair cut.
With the Critter, it was such an ordeal to take him to the kid's cutting place...even with the fancy firetruck seat, even with the Elmo video....you would still think the evil woman was slowly cutting his head off with a pair of dull, rusty garden shears. But I continued to take him anyway, believing what she said: that he would get better each time. He didn't. At all. Not even the slightest amount. And then Little Bit started needing regular, "real" cuts - more than just me trimming the edges on the sink in the bathroom. The trip to the salon was more than I could bear, or afford. (That's $510 a year for all you non-math whizzes. For toddlers. Insanity.)
Now, as I've said before, I'm cheap. Shelling out $30 to have to put my kids in some as-yet-unnamed wrestling hold so that a stranger can hack away at their heads while they scream as if having burns debrided flies in the face of all that I hold frugal and sensible. I can abuse them at home for free.....and maybe even make the experience a little more pleasant for us all.
So that brings us to our project for today. The cleaning up of last night's "hacking off of the hair". You see, this is a two day process. Day One we clip away the bulk as quickly as possible, taking as much time as the child will bear, and the contortionist hold will allow. Day Two we go back and TRY to straighten up the edges. All of this occurs while any number of diversions is employed (sometimes all): watching Sesame Street, singing songs, being allowed to sit on the tractor and turn the "tractor wheel", etc.
Is it any better at home? Sometimes. Do they LIKE it? Absolutely not. Do we still fear being turned in to Child Protective Services by well-meaning neighbors if we play barber outside? Yes. Do they tolerate it better than at the salon? Usually. Have we saved $500 by the end of the year to go toward something that's actually enjoyable for everyone? Undoubtedly.
After the ordeal, we went outside and blew bubbles. (See, I'm not all sadist.)
All is forgiven.....at least until next time.