I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up....sort of

It has happened.
I knew the day would come, but I hadn't really given it that much thought.
My 3-times-weekly trip to my lovely gym are my escape. Especially when Daddy McAustin travels. I can drop my kids off with highly capable child care staff and go about my workout with single-minded concentration. I am always in my own world plugged into my headphones, listening to NPR news most of the time. I do this like clockwork, due to the fact that I must make child care reservations for the kids two weeks in advance, and pay an reasonable hourly rate for the time they're there.
Over the last few months, as I have progressed through the various sports ball-equivalents of pregnancy, I have altered my routine to accomodate the changes: instead of running on the treadmill, I do the elliptical trainer, I cut back and then cut out traditional crunches, etc. I am now at the "small beachball stage", carrying all out front, and VERY low. That said, as I was going about my new-usual weight training circuit the last time, I got to the upper body bench work section, and after I was done, realized that it was going to be difficult getting up from my prone position. I lay there with the buzz of the radio in my ears, and contemplated how to get up while a) not allowing the 25 pound long bar in my hands to crash to the floor, b)not hurting myself or anyone else by smacking them upside the head/body/legs with said bar, and c)not making a complete idiot of my pregnant self in the process. Luckily, an acquaintance was nearby who offered to take the bar and help me up. (I won't even go into the humiliation THAT could have been due to the fact that this 50-something gal has a body TO DIE FOR, the tan to match, and NOT A SINGLE OUNCE OF JIGGLE anywhere, seriously. She also happens to be one of the nicest, most modest, unassuming people on earth....thank God.) Anyway, so I make a Mental Note to myself to change to the upright bench next time, and go about my business without incident.
"Mental Note", yeah, right.

Here's the scene:
MMC going about the workout, while listening to an inspiring "This I Believe" segment on ATC.
MMC picks up the afforementioned long bar.
MMC proceeds to the HORIZONTAL bench.
MMC LIES DOWN.
Mental Note comes to mind...a little.too.late.
At that moment I knew I was in real trouble. There was absolutely NO ONE anywhere around. It was a really pretty day with mild temps, so all the hardbodies were working out in the great outdoors. I just had to laugh - which made those 'long ligaments' in my abdomen hurt. It was laugh or cry. Finally, I went ahead and did my sets, all the while formulating a plan to get back upright....a variation of the "Stop, Drop, and Roll" maneuver taught to school children to avoid being changed into a crispy critter in the event of catching on fire. We'll call mine the Beached Whale Roll. Here's the plan:
1. Transfer the long bar to right hand, running the same direction as body.
2. Drop the bar on the ground as gently as possible.
3. Plant right foot firmly on the ground, bend left knee toward body.
4. Gently roll off bench onto the floor.
5. Hold belly and stifle curses caused by shooting long ligament pain.
6. After vision returns to single images, and breathing can resume, get to standing position.

Yes, just call me orka.